When You Are the Victim of Domestic Violence

Originally written by Dave Howell, updated by the editorial team on 8th July 2026

What domestic violence means

Domestic violence covers a wide range of harmful behaviour between people who are or have been in a relationship, or who are family members. It includes physical abuse, but also extends to verbal, emotional and psychological harm. Threats, intimidation, controlling behaviour and harassment all fall under domestic abuse.

You do not need to have visible injuries for it to count as domestic violence. Patterns of coercive control, where someone restricts your freedom, isolates you from others or monitors your movements, are recognised as criminal offences under the Serious Crime Act 2015. Technology can also be used as a tool of abuse, including tracking your location, monitoring your messages or controlling your online accounts.

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence regardless of gender, age, background or circumstances. If you are experiencing any form of abuse from a partner, ex-partner or family member, help is available.

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In an emergency

If you are in immediate danger or believe you may be seriously harmed, call the police on 999. Try to get to a safe place if you can, and alert someone you trust. If you cannot speak safely, you can call 999 and then press 55 when prompted. This lets the operator know you need help but cannot talk. You can also text 999 if you have registered your phone with the emergencySMS service in advance.

For those who are deaf or hard of hearing, the emergency minicom number is 18000. You can also contact the police via the 999 BSL video relay service.

If the situation is not an emergency but you need to report abuse, you can contact your local police on 101 or visit a police station. Officers receive training on handling domestic violence reports, though the quality of response can vary. You have the right to ask for a different officer or to bring a support worker with you.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Legal protection and court orders

There are legal remedies that can help protect you from an abusive person. The main options include:

Non-molestation orders: these prevent your abuser from threatening, intimidating or contacting you
Occupation orders: these can determine who is allowed to live in the family home and may exclude the abuser from the property
Restraining orders: these can be issued by criminal courts after a prosecution or applied for through civil courts even without criminal charges
Stalking protection orders: these address ongoing harassment or threats, particularly relevant when leaving an abusive situation

You may be able to get legal aid to cover the cost of applying for these orders. Eligibility depends on your financial circumstances and the details of your case. The GOV.UK website explains the criteria for legal aid in domestic abuse cases.

The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, known as Clare's Law, allows you to request information from the police about whether a partner has a history of abusive behaviour. You can make a request at any police station.

Support and advice services

Several organisations offer free, confidential help for people experiencing domestic violence:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England): 0808 2000 247, run by Refuge, available 24 hours
Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline: 0800 027 1234
Live Fear Free Helpline (Wales): 0808 80 10 800
24 Hour Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline (Northern Ireland): 0808 802 1414
The Men's Advice Line: 0808 801 0327, for male victims of domestic abuse
Galop: 0800 999 5428, supporting LGBT+ people experiencing abuse
Samaritans: 116 123, for anyone in emotional distress

These services can provide safety planning advice and help you understand your options. If you need to leave your home, they can help you find emergency accommodation through local refuge services or your council's housing team.

Children who witness domestic violence are also considered victims of abuse under safeguarding guidelines. If children are involved, support workers can advise on protecting them and accessing appropriate services.

Whether you are ready to leave a relationship, want to report abuse or need someone to talk to, these services can help.

The Next Step

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6 questions

Ask Courtroom Advice a Question

Emz123 03/01/2017 at 10:32 pm

Looking for some anonymous advice please, I'm currently waiting for my ex to be on trial for DV, I am a witness attending court, long story short we broke up after a particularly bad episode and he was released on bail not to contact me with we're both in contact with eachother as I was still in love with him and totally brainwashed and he came to my house one night and happened again, I've told police I had no contact with him but if it comes out in court what will happen? I mean I wasn't the one on bail I'm just worried it will make me look like a liar about the charges!

Nc 09/05/2016 at 12:14 am

Hi my now ex partner attacked me a few years ago with a knife taking off part of my finger. I do not have full use of my hand and never will do. I spent a few days in hospital and had to have plastic surgery on my hand. I lived with him for 6 years and weekly got attacked by him weather it was a punch in the face or a full on attack. It did go to court but at the time I was to scared to go through with it all, basically brainwashed me. I was wondering if a claim would be looked into? Thank you

Leggie 05/07/2015 at 1:12 am

Hi, there was a minor family domestic involving aunty and niece, the niece attacked the aunty police where called but no complaints where put through, later that day aunties son found out his mom was attacked by her niece so knocked on the door to resolve matters and calm everything but the niece was very aggressive and swearing so son left it and went but while later the niece called police and was claiming the son pulled her arm and tried assualting her when he did not. Theres was witnesses from both sides of family there but neices husband is taking her side and lying too, how would the police deal with this?

Thanks

Misty 30/01/2015 at 11:45 am

My now ex partner was arrested and bailed earlier this month. He had long been verbally abusive to me and often intimidating. However, in this instance he physically assaulted myself and my 13 year old child in the presence of our six year old. His attack on my son was violent and prolonged. He was gripped, shaken and pushed extremely violently across a room. All of this was accompanied by verbal abuse and threats. We fled to the police station and, the next day, my son was video interviewed and seen by a paediatrician who confirmed his injuries (abrasions and bruising from the push, fingertip bruising at the tops of his arms from being grabbed and shaken and marks on his back from being repeatedly pinned up against a book shelf. He is an extremely bright and well behaved child and made it confident and comprehensive statement. His brother also did a video interview and, similarly bright for his age, gave a very thorough account, albeit from a very young perspective. In addition to my statement will this be enough for the CPS to prosecute and would his solicitor advise a guilty plea? His bail conditions exclude all contact and he can't come to the town we live in. I very much want these restrictions to remain in place and for him to be charged and prosecuted. The thought he might get away with that and the message that would send to my children really scares me.

CourtroomAdvice Editor 20/01/2015 at 10:41 am

@Esser - Unfortunately the legal position is that if the debts are in your daughters' name, then she is legally responsible for paying them off, which is why it is always a good idea that if someone is living together everything is done in joint names. You could consider using the small claims court if she can prove somehow that he agreed to pay half the costs, which may fall short as he may obviously deny knowing everything was registered in her name. On another note if he is still getting himself into debt and using her name and details fraudulently then you need to contact the police. I hope this helps.

Esser 18/01/2015 at 10:38 pm

My daughter has been left in debt by ex partner and 18 months later still getting new debts arrive that he took out in her name on line when they were together, can she claim this money from him in small claims or look into fraud charges?

Thank you

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