What Happens at the Family Court?

Author: Lorna Elliott

All sorts of family hearings are heard at the family court, ranging from contact, residence, adoption and local authority care. Some family courts are heard in magistrates courts, others are in dedicated family courts centres (usually in larger towns and cities.) Family court hearings are generally less formal than, say criminal cases, in that the barristers are not wearing wigs and gowns, and the style of the hearing is less legalistic than other types of hearings. Of course, that does not mean that you should treat the family court with any less respect – it is still a court environment.

If you're attending family court for the first time and want to know what to bring and how to prepare, you can use our free Court Preparation Checklist.

Getting To Court

Courts often sit at 10.00am or 10.30am. Either way, you should arrive in good time, especially if you are meeting your lawyer beforehand. Always attend your hearings, unless you have explicitly been excluded from having to go along, for example if it’s just a directions hearing that the lawyers need to attend.

On Arrival

When you get to the family court, do not be surprised to see other people sitting around waiting. You should make yourself known to the court usher, who is a man or woman usually wearing a gown and holding a clipboard. Tell them your name and they will mark you down as being in attendance. If your lawyer is already at court, they may introduce you to them if you haven’t met them before, or tell you where you can find them.

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Your Case

Often the court will list several hearings which are called on in the order in which they are ready to proceed. Your first hearing is very unlikely to be your last – as normally you will have a preliminary hearing in which directions are given about evidence, statements of case, and deadlines for when documents need to be served.

The Media

All family court hearings are private. This means that although members of the press may be in court and report on hearings, they cannot name the parties in the case or anyone else involved in the proceedings.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Effective Hearings

If you are at court for your effective hearing, the applicant or their lawyer will open the case. The applicant is the person making the application, and the respondent is the person opposing it. At the beginning the applicant will make an opening statement about the case and why they are making the application. The respondent will then have a chance to tell the court why they oppose the application. The magistrates, or the judge, will then ask questions if they need to clarify anything and one or both sides may give evidence on their own behalf, and/or call witnesses.

Conduct In The Family Court

Regardless of whether you are represented or not, you should always treat court staff, lawyers and the tribunal hearing the case with respect. For those who are representing themselves in court, in particular, it can be a stressful and nerve-wracking experience. Without exception, though, if you are calm, polite, and controlled in the way that you approach the whole process you will undoubtedly command more respect and authority than someone who loses their temper. Yes, it can be hard if you’re fighting over your children, your livelihood or something else that you feel passionately about – but a calm exterior can do wonders for your case! It is possible to bring a friend or family member with you for support, but make sure that you have cleared this with the court first. You can ask your lawyer to do this for you, if you have one.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Court Form Finder lets you find the right court form for your situation. Family, civil, criminal and tribunal forms. Try it now →

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69 questions

Ask Courtroom Advice a Question

Rachel 24/07/2021 at 10:00 pm

We have a contact arrangements order, and my sons father has continously breached the order and using our son as pawn towards me doing anything to emotionally hurt me and it started to effect the children so I took advice from children services and stopped all contact, can I get it back to court to get the contact order to be done for pick up and drop offs at a contact center and so he can't contact me direct i really want this matter resolved quickly as he's threatening my family and making threats to me about this situation

Shell bell 21/08/2020 at 8:25 am

My partner has had his daughter since he left his ex around two and a half years ago, there's been no dispute about this until very recently due to her stopping work and going on benefits. No court has been involved at all but now she's saying she wants her back and is talking about going to court for custody. Now my partner took his daughter when he left due to the fact his ex was not fit due to drink and drugs. For the past two and a half years she's either been drinking or taking drugs to the point she very nearly went to chemical detox, then all of a sudden she reckons shes clean and fit to have her daughter. Could anyone help on advice as to whether this could happen? Would the courts remove my exs daughter when she's in a happy home and has been for 2 and a half years with siblings?

Kitbag 04/08/2020 at 7:09 pm

Hi my son broke his court order as the children told his partner what was going on at there house with his ex partner her boyfriend which involved drugs abusing behaviour all sort social worker got involved what will happen as he was safe guarding his children.

Lk 15/04/2020 at 6:22 pm

Who do I contact if my local authority (social services) have breached a family contact order? By not progressing contact with me and my children, as agreed in the court order, me and the father they are In care of have kept to our end of the deal but the local authorities have not progressed my contact from the first stage of 5 of the order over a year after, a nine month deadline? What can i do?

Jenni 29/06/2019 at 6:50 pm

Hi. My partner has to attend court soon as he is in the finacial negation stage of divorce. He suffered extreme emotional abuse during the marriage and she has now alienated his children from him aswell. He has changed his entire lifestyle to avoid this person and has not seen or spoke to her directly for a year so he is very worried about being in the court room with her as he is extremely intimidated.
Can his solicitor who is dealing with his case represent him in court instead? If not, can his solicitor be present at least and speak for him?

Mcp 06/03/2019 at 11:33 am

Hi i would like some advice on changing my sons surname. His father has rarely seen him and pays very little child maintenance. I would like his name changed to mine so him and my daughter have the same surname throughout school. his father has refused consent. He is now leaving the country to immigrate to Australia. What should my next move be. I'm a single mother and cannot afford the court fees. And if it does get to family court what happens if the father doesn't turn up

Ifemi 28/01/2019 at 8:13 pm

Hi I’m looking for some advice I haven’t yet make any court proceedings against the father of my daughter however I’d like to know what I should do for the best we have been separated since she was around 2 weeks old he has been present in her life ever since to this date however I’ve become tiered of his ways towards he he doesn’t pay anything to support me with her when he would come visit he would be sat on his phone or watch tv barely acknowledging her presence only in the past few weeks has he agreed to come to my home to collect her take her out and then return her later in the day last week he did that for the first time and was gone no more than 45 minutes and only drove down the road to a local McDonald’s and could bring her home fast enough however he pays a substantial amount per month for his son on top of Amy money the mother asks to borrow he also provides anything else his son needs and spends full days and occasionally a full weekend with his son at the mothers house so I’m looking for advice on what I should do and if I take him to court what should I expect

mad 05/03/2018 at 3:38 pm

Hi my son is going to court soon as his ex has breach the contact order any advise on what to say or do would be of great help. he has been advised by court staff to add us to the order as we had had contact until now Please help can not afford legal help and legal aid doesn't cover this

Wendy 21/02/2018 at 9:49 pm

During my child arrangement order application I gave my statement. My son then gave his. I wasn't given an opportunity to respond to his statement, which I considered false. I tried but the magistrate told me I'd had my chance to speak. I was denied the application. Do I have a right to appeal?

CourtroomAdvice Editor 16/01/2018 at 10:13 am

Only if you cannot agree between you and/or if you cannot agree via mediation should you apply to court (as court will cost). However, if your ex has never paid child maintenance (you haven't explained why) and run up debt on the house and not contributed to the mortgage, then this should be factored in. Therefore, legal advice is recommended here is order to explore your full options.

Lou Lou 15/01/2018 at 3:46 pm

My husband and I divorced in 2012 and we separated in 2004. He has not paid any child maintenance or his share of the mortgage since 2010 and he has also run a debt of £12,500 on this house. I want to sell but he is demanding a substantial amount of the profits from this house with no mention of the debts child care etc.. I have an email dated February 2012 where he has said that he would only claim on what the house was worth then and share the profit from that date. Is this legally binding - can I take him to court and represent myself? What's the procedure.. Please help???

CourtroomAdvice Editor 11/01/2018 at 10:12 am

Yes, you can apply to take the matter to court, if you have evidence of this agreement you made (even texts or emails). Any changes to a court order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. However, if you both agreed and you can prove that your ex deliberately stalled, then you may have a case to answer. Further legal advice is needed here.

Lozz 10/01/2018 at 3:23 pm

Hi I've taken my ex husband to court a couple of years ago regarding our property we have together. I am currently living in the property and have paid all the mortgage etc since he left 9 years ago. I wanted him to come off the mortgage so the courts ordered me to pay him £7000 within a year or I would have to sell the property and give him 25% of the profit!!! After the court hearing I found out he had put 3 CCJs against the property. We discussed this and he agreed to arrange with the companies to pay the CCJs off then I would give him his money. I messaged him constantly asking if he had paid them and he kept telling me he was dealing with it! A year passed and he turned round and said "ha ha your year is up you have to sell the house now and give me 25%" I'm fuming with him cos I had the money for him but he obviously had planned this. Is there anyway I can take him back to court even though I'm now in breach of the court order.

Gillsteve 08/11/2017 at 8:05 pm

A court hearing has been arranged for a date when I am working away. I'm self employed and can't afford to either lose the job or travel 300 miles home , and then go back. Can I get it put back a week or so?

Kk 29/10/2017 at 5:30 pm

Hi I've got a ongoing court case to try and get access to my daughter I have been accused off d.v But from what I understand they take her word as gospel how do I go about trying to disprove that and if I can't what's the likely hood of me being denied access ?

CourtroomAdvice Editor 03/08/2017 at 2:55 pm

In the first instance you should request mediation in order to try to resolve the matter out of court given her hours have not changed. If your partner's ex refuses, then your partner would have to take the matter back to court. Alternatively, a carefully worded solicitor's letter also may also prompt your partner's ex into revising the arrangement back to the previous order if the ruling was based purely on the change of hours.

Anne 02/08/2017 at 9:11 pm

My partner went to court earlier this year as he wanted to maintain the 50/50 custody that he'd had for the previous two years. In court his ex said that she was changing her hours of work and the court decided to give her custody of the children during the week based on this as they were better off with mother than grandmother. She hasn't changed her hours and we believe she lied in court - is there anything that we can do about it?

Elaine 14/06/2017 at 10:34 pm

I have just had a Final Hearing in my divorce financial remedy. Are. My husband has not complied throughout the proceedings. The judge was favourable to me. My husband did not show up at Final Hearing and is now requesting to appeal. He has also broken several aspects of the order. What should I ask the court to do? It's the County Court or do I ask after I find out if he is allowed to appeal?

H 01/04/2017 at 10:42 am

I am going to family court in may due to disputing allegations made with what what stated on the divorce papers. It would have been simple for my x to have stated we have been apart for a considerable time but he did not. My health has been poor since his departure 4 years ago. He left just after our 4th ivf was meant to commence and also did not tell me he had a vasectomy before entering our marriage. I really could not cope if we brought his new partner with him to court as I believe he left me for her. Ideally I do not wish to see either of them due to not being strong enough to cope?

CourtroomAdvice Editor 21/12/2016 at 12:26 pm

If you have a residency order for your son, then you can get the police involved to have him returned. However, if the police are refusing this, there is little you can do if an investigation is taking place. If social services are conflicting this by accusing you of not safeguarding your son, you can complain, please see CAB which

Benny 20/12/2016 at 7:03 pm

Hi
I have a child arrangements order made in my favour to safeguard my 15 year old son

He keeps running back to his mother whom he was removed from for abuse and neglect.

Now he and his mother have concocted a lie accusing my wife of 15 years of assaulting him in order for him to stay away
The police and social services are investigating the allegations and the police officer informed us it won't go anywhere
However the police or social services will not help in returning him home
He's currently been gone 3 weeks and now social services are telling me I'm in breach of the order as I'm not safeguarding him .

I explained we are trying but we can't keep him safe if they won't return him but they aren't interested.
This whole situation is causing massive amounts of stress on myself and the rest of my family including 2 other kids 1 of whom has brain damage.

Please help

Jay 21/11/2016 at 2:57 pm

Hi
I have a court hearing in the nest fe days. On the previous occasion 3 years ago I was unable to have direct contact with our child, the court agreed non direct contact - via letter, presents cards on special occasions. This was due to my child saying they did not want contact, at the time the child was 10 and heavily influenced by mum. The child is now 14, Initially did not take my letters but has been doing over the past 2 years. Mum is not aware that th child is taking my letters as Cafcass told me mum says she doesn't take the letters. My child is being manipulated and I'm so worried as they are unable to speak there mind or independently make a decision without upsetting mum. After the last hearing I did not pursue and further for direct contact as I felt it would be too distressing for the child.
Please advice. Thank you

Peter 12/11/2016 at 6:58 am

My ex partner (with whom my daughter lives) says she intends to change the court order and reducie weekend and holiday contact. Can I apply for Enforcement Procedure (c79) now or do I have to wait for the first breach to take place? She has clearly stated her intention to reduce contact

T.k 07/10/2016 at 10:50 pm

I had court hearing on 2nd of august and judge said tht she will let us know within three weeks but its nearly nine weeks after court hearing n we didnt receive anything from judgecan anyoneplz tell us how long it takes to know abt judge issuing decisions

Neil 27/09/2016 at 11:15 pm

Hi, Following on from your earlier advice (really useful & good to know) it has brought something else to light in recent days. My partner still is having no luck trying to see her son for the court ordered 3 weekends in 4 that she is entitled to by the contact order. She received a reply to her most recent message which said "I believe in the best interest of him that he spend every other weekend at home" - Now things make a bit more sense. If my partner returns this to court for breach of the order then he will try to have the order amended to alternatate weekends. Can the court effectively penalise my partner by reducing the number of weekends she sees her son on the back of her application for enforcement? Or will he need to make his own application for an amendment to the order and prove that it is in their sons best interests to switch to every other weekend? Seems highly unfair that my partner will pay for application fee for the enforcement order she seeks only to potentially be punished further as a result. Like I said in my previous message - everything about this case has let her down from start to finish and nothing has followed what you might call 'proper process'. She has no faith in the courts and if there is even the slightest chance she could come out of this worse off then there is no way she will take this matter further. Thanking you once again for your help in advance. Neil

CourtroomAdvice Editor 16/09/2016 at 10:41 am

I'm afraid we can't advice on this as it's outside our remit. Your legal representative (if you have one) will be able to advise. Otherwise, you may wish to contact the courts directly.

Concerned parent 15/09/2016 at 11:46 am

Hi. I am going to court next week as my sons father is filing for child arrangements order for access. I oppose the order for many reasons but manly as my son does not wish for see his father and has told him many times why. I have sent a stately to court but only just realised I was meant to send a copy to the other parent also. I did not keep a copy of my statement so the wording if I was to send it now would be slightly different. Would this be a problem at the first hearing? And if so what might happen please?

Dmack 15/04/2016 at 5:27 am

I did not turn up for family court today either did my ex what happens now

Jen 08/04/2016 at 10:43 pm

Hi does anyone know what will happen, I've just moved house, ss being idiots stopping my partner from seeing our daughters. I have a hearing soon what can happen if i don't go?

Flatfish 01/04/2016 at 10:40 pm

Hi at a directions hearing the court decided that the new baby of the parents gets returned but under an order !! my grandaughter lives with me an court says she should stay where she is and so have social services will this be the case at the final hearing please

JAM 30/03/2016 at 9:28 pm

I have seen this asked before but I havent seen a formal response.
What happens if the Mother does not attend the First Hearing Dispute Resolution.
I understand it will be held against her but what is the next step. Will Cafcass go on to contact her to interview her etc or will the Judge summons her to court?
Thanks in advance for any advice.

Jue1 22/03/2016 at 5:25 pm

Hi I've been in court the last yrs or so for custody of my son and his dad is not allowed access. We are having a contested hearing in April and I've just received my bundle from my previous solicitor would I be able to get a new solicitor this soon

CourtroomAdvice Editor 21/03/2016 at 1:39 pm

A transfer of equity is when someone is added or removed from the title deeds - therefore, in this case your solicitor should be able to advise on taking the matter further.

Shell 18/03/2016 at 8:55 pm

Hi can you help my parents nan has been Section Due to mental health issues, on his grand ads will it says that the house she lived in is his but she can stay there till she passes or can no longer pay the upkeep of the house. So we need to change the deeds over to my parents name. So we can take over the house but our solicitor has told us it has to go to court to be done, would you advise us on what court we will have to proceed with, as I don't think a small clams court can help us.
Thankyou for your time

Mumma 14/03/2016 at 10:09 am

We're due to go into court for a fact finding but 3 of my four witnesses are on holiday. I'm representing myself. Can I postpone? If so how do I go about doing it?

Zarab 03/03/2016 at 10:09 am

My parents are taking me to court to see my 3 girls we had a little argument last May/June over my sis promising my 9 year old money for her birthday which was February my mum and I decided every other weekend she would see my kids and wanted my eldest only the other weekend which is not fair on my other 2 they r 1 and 2 my parents have said they will not have them over night till they are 3 years old anyway they was looking apparently how to get a contact order to see my kids as my 9 year old enjoys going out on her motorbike so when she said I don't wanna go out with Nan today I wanna go on my bike my mum got funny said that we was telling her to say that she then didn't come to get the youngest ones left them waiting so she apparently got told to ring nspcc for contact order but amazingly put in a report about my kids I had the police turn up which scared my eldest and now she is scared of police then social services got involved the case got shut as my kids r ok but my parents done this and I can't forgive them then I get letter from family court saying they want access think they have a nerve my eldest says she hates them and doesn't want to see them court is tomorrow I'm so nervous case they make more stuff up

CourtroomAdvice Editor 01/03/2016 at 11:11 am

If he is in breach of the court order, please see the link: Breach of Court Order: What Steps to Take Next? here . You can either attempt to take it back to court and have the order revoked, or attempt to have the order enforced.

Taylor 29/02/2016 at 10:44 am

Ex partner and I have a court order which states he is to have out son 2 weekends a month ( he is to have him 6pm from till 6pm Sunday he is not allowed to drink : he has been leaving my son with family members and going out drinkin what can I do?

CourtroomAdvice Editor 18/02/2016 at 11:27 am

I'm afraid we cannot predict what a court may decide.

Muggins 17/02/2016 at 3:49 pm

Been to court and judge issued an order in 2012. We divide holidays and can't holiday out of uk without having agreement. Ex took me to court for a holiday which was unsafe venue. Court dismissed and said no as we need to agree. Ex went ahead and took them to an alternative venue and is returning them late therefore breaching the order. Taking this matter back to court. What will happen please.

cazz 14/01/2016 at 7:35 pm

Separated from my ex 8 years ago, have made verbal agreements and helped him have a good relationship with our son, he has a drink problem and gets aggressive when drunk, I stopped contact due to drunk, he has made out to the court I have obstructed his contact for month reason besides spite, we're in court tomorrow and I'm worried the out won't believe me and will look down on me, what can I do

Kez 09/01/2016 at 2:56 pm

Final hearing is going into 3 days on monday will the Judge make a judgement on that day even after listening to more evidence that day or does the judgement have to be on a seperate day? Thanks

p 02/01/2016 at 9:20 pm

My son went to court and won access rights to see his 2 children he pays all his maintenance when due + extra when asked he was having them as agreed on his 1 day off a week and his 1 weekend off a month + extra when asked she has now decided that he cannot see them she has contacted the police twice now and made false aligations which the police are happy with my sons explanations. She has openly threatened my son with being beat up on at least 3 occasions she uses social media to openly jibe and humiliate my son her friends threaten my son and call him vile names my son is beside himself that he cannot see his children which he loves as am I because I cannot see me grand children please can you advise us what to do.

DaveR Editor 18/12/2015 at 9:55 am

@K-jo - the court might make a judgement in her absence, this might actually work in your partner's favour. The courts don't like it if someone disregards the law and doesn't turn up.

k-jo 17/12/2015 at 6:19 am

My partner has 5 children with his ex, and since they split up she hasn't allowed him to see his children , social services have been involved and the children were but on a protection plan because of an un explained mark on his younger son which his ex said was done by a cup of tea, they are no longer on the protection plan and we have now started court proceedings but she keeps saying that she hasn't received any letters from our solicitor and we don't think she will turn up to court , what will happen if she doesn't turn up.

Zombilina78 09/12/2015 at 8:17 am

I broke with my ex when when I was 20weeks pregnant with our son ... He wasn't involved in pregnancy .. Got involved last two weeks of it and first 9 days after our son was born .. He went away for 8 weeks ... Came back into my sons life for two months ... away again for weeks ... This happened so many times in my sons first year .. My son is 17 months old ... After my sons first birthday I got messages about lawyer because I wouldn't let him or his mum take my son for few hours ... I offered them to come to my house as my son would be more comfortable as he doesn't know them ... I got threats ... Name calling ... Cut long story short .. Through my lawyer I arranged contact at my house for two hours on a sat .. Worked fine ... I had to cancel couple times due to my son bring poorly but ALWAYS offered another day ... He never came tho ....had to change time due to my son having earlier nap time which he was fine with .. Came few times ... Didn't show couple times and didn't contact ... I then started getting pulled up by his family members saying I've stopped him seeing our son .. Lies ... Never have I said that ... I then offer to meet his mum so she can see her grandson as she hasn't seen him for 7 months ( not my doing .. She just stopped contacting us ). I asked if she's mind coming to my house or my parents as my son knows the house and feels comfortable but she was at happy and said either hers or she's going through lawyer ... I'm also getting called vile names off my ex ... I had that for most of our relationship and I'm tired of it now ... I have my lawyer today to arrange the contact through a contact centre as I feel very uncomfortable now ... Plus this way he had to be there on time every week ... My son is my priority and always has been ...

CourtroomAdvice Editor 09/11/2015 at 11:00 am

You will have to go through Cafcass as part of the court procedure which will give you the opportunity to have your say. Whenever parents can’t agree over an application for a contact order, they become involved, compiling a report on the family, both parents and children. The document they produce carries a great deal of weight with the family court.

Supermum 08/11/2015 at 8:49 am

Seperated 3years ago
Tried informal agreement relating to access which my ex abused fail to keep to agreement would be late if drop of before work, canx with 30 mins notice when I would be due in work etc etc all extresmly stressful. We are both shift workers.
I did try to keep access for the boys but as my ex began to build new relatiinships ,he would stop seeing the boys usually pattern is introduce the boys to new girlfriend and her children when he moves in with the new girlfriend then not see the boys without explanation remaining in the same small town or very near to it. That relationship breaks down ex wants to pick up the boys as he has time for them when single.
This has been massively damaging to my oldest currently 8 and who suffers autism.
When the newest girlfriend arrived I due decided no more and stopped all access now I have been served with a child arrangement order.
I should state my ex has been arrested for violence towards me which the children have witnesses he has also been charged with violence towards at least one of his ex girlfriends.
I really want to oppose this order but know how much faith the courts have in granting fathers access please advise

CourtroomAdvice Editor 06/11/2015 at 2:03 pm

Your ex can take you to court in order to have the order enforced as you are in breach. Please see article; here that will show you your ex's options and the possible repercussions to you. You don't say how old your daughter is. If she is over 12, her opinion will be taken into account if she genuinely doesn't want to see her father.

Bex2dance 05/11/2015 at 7:12 pm

My husband went to court last year and got a court order to see his daughter, he saw her a handful of times then she changed her number and ignored all the attempts we made telling him to leave them alone and he is never seeing her again, he is paying £73 a week csa we have 2 children and can't afford to go back to court what can we do?

CourtroomAdvice Editor 24/09/2015 at 12:12 pm

I'm afraid we cannot give any advice due to the fact you have been through several court processes already. I can only suggest further legal advice in order to see if there is another route post appeal.

shaz 23/09/2015 at 2:36 pm

Been fighting court case for two years where judge found me guilty on probabilities of harming my granddaughter been to court of appeal refused permission to appeal. Been to criminal side won that side but got me on child cruelty but social services will not back down still taking family judgement please can you help me to get my granddaughters back home who I brought up from birth
From broken hearted grandmother

Nkg 21/07/2015 at 6:37 pm

I've had no joy with social works bunch of low life curupt people I've not saw my daughter in 6 weeks I've done everything right chucked in my face I have a learning disability and feel this is the reason why they won't return my daughter to my care

army2483 05/05/2015 at 10:57 am

What happens if mother refuses to turn up in court

Rob Editor 25/02/2015 at 10:50 am

@fas - I would not imagine the fact that your son has acid reflux would stop you getting contact. But the best thing to do is to research into the subject so that you can tell Cafcass and the judge that you are aware of his dietary limitations and you will feed your son whatever your ex gives on a diet sheet and in line with the Reflux Infants Support Association and what it suggests. It's always a matter of doing exactly what they want and more. Good luck.

fas 22/02/2015 at 10:18 pm

Hiya i need help!!!!
Ive been trying for 5 years to get direct contact with my son who i nearly 6 now.
My son around 2 months when i first put in a application.
In the factfinding the judge there was some kind of domestic violence.so i only got indirect.
I still carried on fighting then 1 year later the judge ordered me to take anger managment ,domestic violence,parenting course,medation,pip course.
Ive completed all of them.
Now i have re applied at the court .i have a court hearing in april.
Previously my ex has fabricted alot of what never happened .
She said the son also suffers from reflux.i now this is hard for my son.but that should not stop me giving direct contact.
While he is suffers from reflux she has taken my son to holiday where there is a low medical assistance and help with his reflux condition.
caffcasd is involved.i have pointed out to caffcass that im concered because of his health she takes him on hoildays.
can someone advuce me on what concerns i should tell caffcasd and the judge.
and what step i can take if the judge still refuses direct contact.

Sam Editor 05/01/2015 at 10:33 am

@Asncje - the courts are much less tolerant of mothers who are disregarding court orders and who play this cat-and-mouse game through flouting the court system and are coming down harder on them. He needs to keep on trying through the courts to gain the access he needs. You need to also keep all evidence via Facebook of her threats - you can photograph it. This sort of game playing with fathers needs to be stopped.

Asncje 29/12/2014 at 9:27 am

My partner was stopped seeing his children for the fourth time over soverhung silly (typical mother I can do anything without your permission but you need to ask me before you set foot out the house scenario). She refused mediation it went to family court as it was agreed before with car as everything was sorted. In court she did a complete 360 turn as she realised a contact order would be put in place as the judge agreed this was needed. Nothing was sorted and was referred to another court with more power. She was meant to write a letter explaining why he wasn't allowed to see them so we could respond to this. In the meantime she decided to agree to the contact order. She tried to get hi. To take presents down over mad etc n see the children but after not seeing them for 6 months hLf an hour was not long enough in her home etc and felt it would upset the children even more. She is now using this against him and stopped all. Intact via phone on one child's birthday as well as calling him all names over facebook saying he would never see them again, told the children he doesn't care he forgot etc. what will happen now that it's going to the next court but she hasn't wrote the letter she was meant to and says he won't get anything because he wouldn't go down on Xmas day.

Jim Editor 18/11/2014 at 12:53 pm

@Mark - Playing devil's advocate in the case of your ex, you can understand why she may be concerned about your drug taking around your child and she is putting the safety of him first. But there are a lot of people in this world that takes drugs and if they stopped every parent from seeing or even caring for their child on that basis then there would be a lot more children in care. Hopefully, the court (which are accustomed to such cases) will take this on board. The best thing you can do is to show that you are moving away from that kind of lifestyle because you don't want to jeopardise your relationship with your son. JK.

mark 16/11/2014 at 7:28 pm

Hi can any one HELP me ???? I am in court because my ex partner has got orders against me and she won't let me see my son. I am self representing as due can't afford a solicitor just yet.. She is saying that I am a alcoholic and do lots of drugs. And I beat her and all that.. I did smoke a bit of cannabis when we was together and I used it a bit more when this frist kicked off..(wish I didn't) when cafcase rang me and asked my lots of questions then said that I take loads of drugs I said no I smoke a bit of cannabis. But they have all taken her side with what she is saying.i hate not seeing my son as I always had him with me (e.g. parks,trains) I am scared that I ent going to see my son for Xmas or eny time soon.. PLZ CAN SOME ONE HELP OR A BIT OF ADVICE MUCH APPRECIATED

tashy 30/07/2014 at 5:37 pm

MY AUNT HAS A SPECIAL GUARDIANSHIP ORDER FOR MY CHILD . AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD. THAT SHE HAS BEEN TO PRISON FOR VIOLENCE. THIS WAS KEPT FROM ME. I THOUGHT THE SOCIAL SERVICES HAD A LEGAL OBLGASION TO INFORM ME OF THIS. I WAS NEVER TOLD NOTHINK ABOUT THIS. SHE HAS ALWAYS MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO SEE HIM. EVEN TOLD THE SOCAIL SERVCES LIES. SAYING I WASENT TURNING UP FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. AS LUCK IS I HAVE PROF THAT I WENT I GOT A TAXI THERE ON MOST TIMES I SEEN HIM. THE SOCIAL SERVCES JUST TOOK HER WORD FOR IT. I FELL IVE BEEN TOTALY LET DOWN FROM THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SURPOSE TO PROTECT CHILDREN. THE COURT ORDER WAS MADE 18TH NOVEMBER 2013. AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY CHILD SINCE A COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE XMAS LAST YEAR. AND SHE HAS NO INTENSION OF LETTING ME SEE HIM EITHER. THE ORDER SAID I COULD SEE HIM 6 TIMES A YEAR. I HOPE SOMEONE CAN HELP ME.

Lady me 01/07/2014 at 2:31 pm

hi has any one ever won a case with the local socials ervice and themselves -has anybody self represented? How can we win our children back

Sally 04/06/2014 at 10:29 am

Hello I make an appeal and the court accept it and in the letter saying we have to wait 28 to the home office and it's two month now no one call me should I go to the uk embassy to get the visa or what should I do

jo 17/11/2013 at 8:48 am

To the lady who has not saw her grandchild I have been stopped seeing my 2 grandchildren for nearly a year and have had a solicitor since then and it has been hard not seeing them I had been told by children's mother that I had no rights but due to pursuance and in and out of court I have just been allowed to see my grandchildren for 2 hours a month for 4 months and then go back to court this is not ideal and is in a contact centre due to all her false allegations and lies she's a really good story teller anyway what I am trying to say is grand parents have rights
Its what you call fighting back or sit back and do nothing

Belle 30/09/2013 at 4:20 pm

I have a have a UK court order that has not been paid since 2007 as my ex vanished to the Middle-Eastern in order not to comply with the order, I was left destitute. How can I get legal help in order to enforce that order?
Many thanks
Belle

BTF 10/02/2013 at 3:43 am

BarbaraW, Watch the film 'Monster-in-Law', take up a hobby, and leave that poor family alone!

BarbaraW 09/01/2013 at 10:41 am

Due to care proceedings which were finally unproven, I was giving the care of my grandson from age 3months to 15months. I had all the night feeds, teething, nursing him through chicken pox (which was the cause of the care proceedings as the doctor at hospital did not accept the pink marks were pox marks!) Social services then had to do a risk assessment on my son and daughter in law to determine what would happen to the baby. My son has done everything for the baby since he was born because my daughter in law never wanted him. She had tried to abort him on three occasions and when he was born she just withdrew to the bedroom and left my son to look after the baby and his older half brother. Social services knew this and their risk assessment also threw up a whol raft of issues with the mother, such as multiple abortions in the past, attempted suicide, assault on her own mother, theft, drug abuse, mental disorders, aggression and a fiery temper. She has also assaulted my son on three separate occasions to which the police were called. Social services know all this. My son had no issues whatsoever. He has conducted himself in a calm and responsible manner throughout this nightmare. Social services, for reasons only known to themselves, took the baby from my home, which had been the only home he had known, and handed him over to his mother. She only ever wanted her older son back and always said she felt the baby would be better off with his dad, but social services insisted the two boys should stay together! They had not been together at all up to that time! Now my daughter in law has divorced my son and taken the boys 450 miles away to Scotland. My son has a contact order with two enforcement orders attached and the judge actually warned my daughter in law that she stood a real chance of being put in prison if she failed to comply with the Contact order, but my daughter in law just says the law cannot do anything to her as she is in Scotland. She always said court orders were not worth the paper they are written on, and at the moment it would seem she is right, because the court has not taken any action against her continual breaches of the court order even though they know for a fact she has deliberately lied to the judge, her solicitor and social services. She says anything to get the court off her back, but never does anything she says she will. She has made it perfectly clear throughout that she has no intention of complying, yet the court have now said they can do no more! Why? My son has paid £400 for this so far worthless contact order and enforcement. If there is a penalty for contempt of court, why has it not been implemented in this clear cut case? Why is my son being treated to badly by the court? We were supposed to have the baby for Christmas but his mother took him further north so the older boy could see his own father and grandparents for Christmas. My grandson therefore spent Christmas with strangers who neither wanted him nor car

denny 22/12/2012 at 10:03 pm

can i refuse to give oral evidence as a grandparent in contested care proceedings

Angie 23/11/2012 at 4:47 pm

My x husband has taken me back to court for an enforcement order saying its me that's stopped our son from going to see him , our son has special needs which his father can never except , due to this a close relationship has never been had, for years I have struggled to keep this contact order going myself son having threats and being told all the time that I will go to prison , our son is nearly 11 and refuses to go I have taken him month after month him being distressed and trying to hurt himself as hes not wanting to go ,our sons had councilling and wrote down his fears at school and it al relates to the contact with his father and him not wanting any of it , will my son have a say in what happens I have so many reports and letters to prove all this thanks any help

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